Oh my god guys Dom’s doing a sequel article how topical, how fetch. Oh my god lets read about good bands that release shit so yeah wooo…
It’s the follow-up of the century, everyone’s been asking for it. I gave you a bunch of shit bands that released good songs and now, as a result, I have to give you a list of good bands that released shit songs. They have been giants of their scene; some even changed music forever and sustained a towering reputation for much of their careers. However, everyone has a few moments that make you cringe so hard you age ten years and top music artists are no exception. Here are five shit songs by great bands… obviously.
1. Weezer – I can’t stop partying
Ways to tell everyone that you have sold your fucking soul to the devil and let all artistic integrity slip: Do a song with ‘Lil Wayne. Li’l Wayne? Or is it just Lil Wayne. Actually fuck you, its’ Little Wayne or just Wayne. I won’t accept the aforementioned as a real name. Coming from a band with such titanic hits as Say It Ain’t So and Pork and Beans, this single is nothing short of a musical atrocity. From being the indie-punk staple of a scene that commended itself on not fitting in, Weezer just went and shit on their past achievements with this garbage, as a result I would happily see them tried at the Haig for crimes against music.
2. The Beatles – Revolution 9
As baffling as it is terrible, this track was so strange and shit that it sparked conspiracy theories about the death of John Lennon. Bookending their historic White Album, Revolution 9 is a kaleidoscope of sample pieces, fading piano ditties and white noise. It’s like a radio station vomited out nine minutes of low-fi, scrambled crap from their last week and removed the music, it’s also nine minutes long. Nine. N-I-N-E. Thankfully it doesn’t tarnish the reputation of a band so prestigious that they essentially invented modern music. Thankfully.
3. Metallica – St. Anger
As the title track of Metallica’s worst record ever, St. Anger was never going to have a fond legacy. Lacking the usual body and oompf that the quartet possessed for almost three decades, St. Anger is a limp erection of a metal song. It features the awful bonk of a shallow snare, a messy song structure and vocals that feel unnaturally forced into the track with the aid of a crowbar. Oh and no solo which means no soul if you’re a Metallica song.
4. Blink 182 – This Is Home
The story of another pop-punk band stumbling unsuccessfully into a genre transition that hopes to find success in mainstream rock; Sub-par records have featured heavily in Blink’s 21st-century career. This is Home, written entirely by ex-guitarist and alien enthusiast Tom Delonge, is a cringing mess of weak riffs, shallow snare beats and harmonics that would embarrass Kesha. Many called it an Angel’s and Airways carbon copy, I call it shit. Luckily the trio, now without Delonge, have managed to move closer to their roots with their latest record: California.
5. Stormzy – Birthday Girl
Man is a great artist. Man got a skinny white emo like me into grime which means I have to say words like ‘respect’ and ‘blessed’ but this song is trash. Lacking the usual crunch and crash of a traditional grime song, Birthday Girl is more a tribute to that particularly heinous brand of slick US hip hop. Saying that, I don’t think anyone cares seeing as his debut album is, as you say, fire. Just don’t ever dabble in lullabies again Storm it doesn’t suit you.