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Guess who’s back? Back again? Guess who’s back? It’s the fucking Prem. Week 8. Yeah.

Well, week 8 certainly broke the monotony of the international break. Spurs won their first league game at Wembley. Manchester City put seven past Stoke. Arsenal made it four away games without a win in the league. Crystal Palace scored a goal. Then they scored again and then they actually won. Unbelievable Jeff.

Game of the Weekend: Manchester City 7 Stoke City 2.

They said the Premier League was becoming a two-horse race but it’s becoming increasingly obvious that one horse is already pulling away. Whilst their Manchester, and title, rivals played out a typical Mourinho style draw at Anfield, Pep was steaming ahead.

Cruising: Walker, Sane and De Bruyne celebrate after another City attempt finds the Stoke net. Source: Shropshirestar.com.

Within 25 minutes of Saturday’s game, City were three-nil up. Granted, they let Stoke back into the game through Diouf but, before pundits could utter the word ‘comeback’, Sane, Jesus and Silva had all scored in quick succession. Bernardo Silva (the other Silva) added the seventh and City capped off a truly wondrous performance. Kevin de Bruyne was the star of the show, playing a part in almost every goal and providing two assists.

City are now the first team since 1895 to score 29 goals in their first league games. If there were any doubters left, then there aren’t anymore.

Losers of the Week: Arsenal.

Oh dear oh dear. Not an away win all season and it’s barely time for Arsenal to have their typical mid-season drop in form.

The ‘Wenger Out’ brigade must have been spitting blood when Tom Cleverley latched onto a rebounding ball and drilled it past Petr Cech in the last minute of the game. Especially seeing as Xhaka appeared to just watch him drift into the box unmarked. Is he allergic to tracking back?

Last-minute: Watford midfielder Tom Cleverley celebrates after his match-winning goal. Source: The Gaurdian.

Once again Arsenal were lacklustre and toothless in attack and unwilling to defend.

Mesut Ozil’s one-on-one late in the second half will probably come back to haunt them but it only scratches the surface of a far deeper problem at the North-London club.

Controversial Calamity: Andy Carroll’s naughty elbows.

Being a Burnley fan I’m inclined to say some really unsavoury words about this Geordie thug. But I’ll refrain. I’m professional like that.

The West Ham striker was given his marching orders after just 25 minutes of Saturday’s clash with Burnley when he drove his elbow into Ben Mee’s head. Funnily enough, he had done exactly the same thing moments before to Tarkowski.

Stupid? Yes. Reckless? Check. Intentional? Absolutely.

Telling off: Referee Stuart Atwell explains to Andy Carroll that GBH isn’t acceptable in football. Source: MinutemediaCDN.com.

Mighty Minnows: Crystal Palace.

Well, well, well. Finally, the moment of euphoria has been achieved for Crystal Palace. It’s only taken them over 730 minutes to score in the league this year but once Cabaye’s shot was deflected into the net, everything suddenly went right for The Eagles.

Whilst Chelsea midfielder Bakayoko equalised minutes later, Roy Hodgson’s men weren’t going to let that scupper their revival. On the stroke of half-time, club Talisman, Wilfried Zaha, squeezed his way into the left side of the Chelsea box before curling it round Courtois.

Chelsea were lacking most of their first team and, with an early injury to Victor Moses, were pegged back even more. However, it doesn’t excuse the Blue’s less than impressive start to their title defence.

@DominicMoffitt1.